Thoughts on Relationships

I have learned a lot during these past weeks. Yes, they have been very painful, but they have also brought blessings. Solitude and rest have given me the opportunity for self-reflection and self-evaluation. One of the areas that I have been reflecting on is "Relationships." It seems to me that social distance has taught us much about ourselves, but also about our relationships with others. Social distancing has made it clear that relationships (and not only romantic ones) take work, and we need to be willing to make them work. We need to invest time and love in our relationships for growth to happen.

Social distancing has been a sacrifice offered out of love. We sacrifice physical contact to show we love and care for each other's health. Avoiding physical contact has helped us realize how much we love and need one another. I believe it is not coincidence that we are going through this dilemma. This is bringing something good to our lives. It is making us appreciate people for who they are, and not for what they can offer to us. This time is giving us a deeper understanding of what it means to be in relationship with one another. We have been granted the opportunity to make an honest and loving evaluation of our current relationships. We have realized how blessed we are to have authentic friends. These friends do not grow apart in the midst of crisis and physical separation. Whether we talk over the phone, video calls, text messages or regular words of encouragement, we get a glimpse of who is willing to invest love and time. We have learned that good, solid and loving relationships intentionally seek one another. When physically distanced, ways are found to convey an essential message: "You might be out of my sight, but never out of my mind."

Nevertheless, this crisis has also shown us a painful truth that can difficult to accept. Social distancing has shown us that not all things go the way we expect. Some relationships cannot grow more than what they already have. It will get us mentally and emotionally tired to try to invest time, love and conversation when there is not openness to it. Many of us might hold on to the beautiful memories of what we lived. We might even be spending a tremendous amount of time idealizing the relationships we had. Yet, life presents us this truth: Just as some of our relationships have grown and become stronger, others have moved on. Perhaps it is not anyone’s fault, but this is how life is. No one is to be blamed, unless something harmful was done, or there was intentional separation. We just have to accept that life goes on.

I believe that every encounter has a purpose. Many people are meant to establish relationships and grow together. Some might be placed on each other’s paths for some time, and then life takes them apart. This does not mean there was not a purpose. Perhaps the purpose has already been fulfilled, and this should give us a sense of gratitude. In the end, relationships require love. When we love, we must be ready to offer freedom at any moment. Our solid relationships will grow stronger during this crisis. Love does not know much about distance. Love is an expert in bringing people together. But we can also learn to find peace and accept that there are realities in life that we cannot change. Some relationships take us to a deeper level of commitment. Some will require us to be grateful and exercise love by letting go.